Shirley

My great-aunt Shirley passed away last night. I have to admit, it hasn't really hit me yet; I think I already did a lot of my mourning last week, when I first realized that she probably didn't have long left. I am sorry I didn't get to see her again, and I'm really sorry my brother didn't get to see her. My dad is pretty upset that we hadn't visited her much in the past few years. For a while there we were spending a fair amount of time with her, and I think we were all getting something good out of it. There was a distance over the past few years for reasons I've never really understood, I think more to do with distance in my dad's family than with Shirley herself. It's a shame, really, because Shirley was great. I'm sorry we didn't get to see her more, but I'm glad we got to see her one more time.

First Day

So my first day of freedom has set me off to an odd start. The morning was very nice, lots of sun and running around in the yard to make up for the years I spent working in a mold-encrusted, windowless bomb-shelter of an office. The afternoon not so much, because I spent most of it crying. My great-aunt Shirley's daughter called to tell us that Shirley isn't doing well, which was very distressing, since Shirley is amazing. We went to see her briefly, and although she definitely is not doing well, she still recognized us and was happy to see us, and actually asked after my brother by name. This was particularly touching because his grandfather couldn't remember him at all in his later years even when he was in the same room, much less halfway across the country.

I ended up canceling drinks with my co-workers because I didn't know how long we would be at the nursing home and doubted I would be much fun to be around. But then I ended up still going out for drinks with my team and Betsey, which was probably better tonight than going out with the whole mob. Especially since I found out that one of my co-workers received a promotion months ago without it becoming public knowledge, despite the fact the he is a lousy employee, makes frequent offensive comments, and does not have a college degree, which is a requirement for the position he was promoted to. I was already galled by the thought that I was recommended for that same promotion half a year ago and yet was still making the same money he was, despite having a college degree and being a harder working and more skilled employee. So finding out that for much of that time I was actually being paid LESS was like a slap in the face. And had I found out while he was present, he may have actually gotten slapped in the face.

And had I found out while I still worked there, I probably would have made a huge stink about it to anyone who would listen, and anyone who wouldn't, and then some.

On the bright side, if I ever had any doubts about Mercy being a horrible place to work and thought maybe I shouldn't leave, this has erased them. If someone who is commonly acknowledged as being a crap employee and who does not meet the qualifications for a position is promoted over someone who is commonly acknowledged as one of the best and most dependable employees in the office and who is qualified for the position, there is something seriously wrong going on. Not that there being something wrong there is a new concept to me. There are many, many things seriously wrong with that place. This is just the most personal insult.

At any rate. It's been a mixed day, and a strange one. Sweat, tears, hail stones, and alcohol. I'm hoping things will improve from here.